"And never to despair of God's mercy."

Why am I here? That is a question which I revisit every morning. I can honestly say that of the many paths I considered over the course of my life, becoming a Benedictine Monk was never in the picture. Certainly, growing up in a German Lutheran family, it was not an option. And after converting to Catholicism as an adult, when considering a vocation, my focus was on the diocesan priesthood and I was woefully ignorant of religious life. In fact, after completing my doctorate at the University of Florida in 2005, my designs were more towards academia and law. However, while continuing to wrestle with a nagging suspicion that I was being beckoned to something more and actually making preparation to study for the priesthood through a diocese in Florida, my spiritual director suggested that on a visit home to Pittsburgh in the summer of 2006 I visit the Archabbey at St. Vincent ,on the off chance I might find something appealing in the Benedictines.

A planned two day visit stretched to ten and shortly after my return to Florida, Father Abbot and Father Fred of the vocation's office arranged the opportunity for me to participate in the incipient postulancy program over the course of the upcoming school year. In short order, I made arrangements to leave my position, settled housing, etc. and arrived here in August 2006 and began the novitiate in July of 2007. All of which begs the question, once again, why?

That answer has changed over the course of the past year and will most likely continue to do so, however some very fundamental reasons consistently present to me. Primarily it is the sense that through the Benedictine community here at St. Vincent Archabbey I have the opportunity, through grace, to give my life to Christ in a uniquely absolute and radical manner. Perhaps it is presumptuous to say, but it is a conviction that our Lord may grant me the wherewithal to truly live an authentic, consecrated life in a community of like-minded men who really have come seeking God. I caution not to be of the illusion that this is an easy road to travel, or that you are "running away from the real world;" the challenges here are real and significant. Our founder Bonfice Wimmer told his early companions that all he could show them was the Cross. If you are open to God's call, you may truly find yours here. But St. Vincent is a community built on prayer and fraternity and no one carries their Cross alone. We share a sense that we are all in a very special place under our Abbot Douglas and graced with a call to community that really amounts for each one of us a daily conversion and giving of self. In the consecrated life, we have the model of the Blessed Virgin who teaches of unconditional discipleship and diligent service, lessons we as brothers seek to learn and answer together.