"In the first place to love the Lord God with the whole heart, the whole soul, the whole strength"

My name is Br. Michael Antonacci, and I am a Novice in the Benedictine Monastic Community at Saint Vincent Archabbey.

I grew up in Jeannette, a small city about an hour east of Pittsburgh, and attended Hempfield Area High School, where my story begins. As a high school student, I was convinced that I wanted to attend the US Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland. I had completed the application, written the essays, mailed the SAT and ACT scores, visited the campus, and was well on my way to obtaining an appointment to the Academy. At the same time, I had visited Saint Vincent College multiple times, along with a few other similar schools; I was very interested in pursuing studies in Engineering or the natural sciences. Not long after the end of my junior year, I learned that the Academy had the right to revoke my appointment up to the day I left for training, which left me quite uneasy. My state representative had also given away both of her congressional nominations by this time, which would have forced me into a prep school for at least another year. I decided to accept Saint Vincent's offer, because the professors in the Physics and Mathematics departments were some of the friendliest, and most helpful people I had ever met, the school in general was very friendly, and the students I had been in contact with were quite helpful and dedicated members of the community. It would be great to live and study with such good people!

A few days after arriving at Saint Vincent, I had the pleasure of meeting the Campus Minister, Fr. Brian Boosel, O.S.B., at a talk he gave the freshmen dealing with Campus Ministry and its role on campus. Now, coming out of high school, I did not have any particular interest in my faith. I had been raised in a Protestant church with an aging congregation, making it difficult to find peers to relate to spiritually. I did not pursue any sort of religious formation beyond confirmation, either. My parents were always supportive and encouraged me to attend services and learn, but for some reason I never took interest. Upon meeting Fr. Brian and hearing his goals for Campus Ministry (he was just made Campus Minister that same summer), something sparked my interest in learning more about what was going on here. Who were these guys walking around in black? What was Catholicism, and what was it all about? Why had I never heard much about it before? What does "Benedictine" mean?

I found that Fr. Brian was very easy to talk to, and he answered all my questions about Catholicism, the Benedictines, and Saint Vincent. He took every chance he had to teach not just myself, but all the students he had contact with, about living in faith, their Saint Vincent legacy, his time at Saint Vincent as a student, and then as a monk, and above all how to serve; he taught rarely with words, but every minute of the day with his superb example of selfless sacrifice and service. I noticed this trend among many of the other monks as well.

During those first few months, I also discovered a wealth of encouragement and guidance in my classmates, many of whom strived to live out Christ's word daily, even though none of them would have called it that nor would they have ever boasted that they were trying. However, whether they knew it or not, their example led me to consider my faith more seriously, and in October of my freshman year I joined the RCIA program at Saint Vincent Basilica Parish, and was confirmed into the church at the Easter Vigil mass in 2004. That same week, I stayed here at the Archabbey on a Come-And-See weekend, partly to see what it was like to live in a monastery, but mostly to prepare for my confirmation. It was my first true monastic experience, and I wasn't even Catholic yet!

In my time at Saint Vincent, I found myself intrigued by the Benedictine way of life, especially their strong values of community, hospitality, and stability. I considered whether I would be fit for such a life, and opened up dialogue with Fr. Brian and Katie Wojtunik, who also is a Campus Minister and graduate of Saint Vincent. Their advice to me was to always be open to God's calling in my heart, but not to miss out on today worrying too much about tomorrow; I was still in college and needed to live as a college student during my discernment!

As time went on, I found my heart being drawn more and more toward the Monastery. With Fr. Brian and Katie's guidance, my friends' support and prayers, and especially by trying to stay close to God through involvement with the Sacraments, prayer, and adoration, I realized that God was indeed calling me to at least give monastic life a try here at Saint Vincent. For me, that meant delaying graduate studies in a field that I love (Physics), limiting my contact with friends for a while, setting aside the notion of dating (to which I was not exactly a stranger!), and maybe being married someday, and sacrificing my own will in general to cooperate with the community. It was a big step, and a difficult break to make, but I trusted that the Lord was calling me here for a reason, and that He would take care of everything. I constantly recalled the scripture passage in Luke 5, where Jesus exhorts Simon to cast his nets into the deep, though he had caught nothing all day, and trust in Him.

A month and a half after graduation (May 2007), I was invested as a Novice here at the Abbey, along with my 3 classmates Maximilian, Jeremiah, and Gabriel Myriam. We now live together in the Novitiate working, praying, laughing, learning, struggling, growing and rejoicing as brothers in faith. Our primary goal is to seek God in our daily experience, and grow in love with Him. With guidance and spiritual direction, we are all discerning whether this monastic life is what God is calling us to, and with joy serving Him daily through work and prayer together.

As a younger person myself, I especially encourage all young men to consider what God is calling you to do. As Pope John Paul II said in his opening address to the world, "Do not be afraid!" Do not be afraid of where you think God is calling you be it religious life, the priesthood, married life, or the single life. Explore your options, find out what different ways of life are really like, visit religious communities, talk to priests and religious, date, live single for a little while, be open to all the paths God could call you down. If possible, spend a few days or weeks living with a religious community, getting to know their way of life and their apostolate (what the community does, i.e. Saint Vincent staffs and runs a College and Seminary, so our apostolate is education). Even if you decide that their way of life is not for you, you have gained valuable knowledge about yourself and your call, and can better choose the type of vocation that is right for you. Finally, and most importantly, pray! Listen to God in the scriptures and in silence; get to know Him, and He will surely guide you in the way that is best for you and most pleasing to Him.