"To refer what good one sees in himself, not to self, but to God."

I made my first step formal step in discerning a religious vocation in September 2002 by going on a retreat with the Serra Club of Pittsburgh. The retreat was for anyone who thought that they might have a calling to religious life or the priesthood.

Prior to the retreat, I had spoken with a few different parish priests about a possible calling. I had thought that the discernment would simply involve determining whether or not God was calling me to be a diocesan parish priest, until one of the priests that I has spoken with told me that the first thing that I had to determine was whether I was being called to be a diocesan priest or to join a religious order. Although I had gone to a high school that was run by the Franciscans (over 20 years ago) I hadn't even thought about the possibility that I was called to live in community.

By the time that I finished the Serra Club weekend retreat, I felt that the community life was a better fit for me, if I was indeed being called to a religious vocation. Based on a one-page write-up that was provided on the religious orders in the Western Pennsylvania area, I felt drawn to learn more about St. Vincent Archabbey and established contact.

I made my first visit in February of 2003. It was a very good visit. I was attracted to the strong and structured community prayer life. I remember telling my spiritual director that I could see myself living there. At that point, however, I was still uncertain as to whether God was definitely calling me to the religious life.

My discernment journey went on for another 2 years as I investigated other religious orders (making formal visits to two other orders) and also discerning whether God was calling to marriage with a very wonderful and faith-filled woman that God had brought into my life. He made different steps on the journey very clear to me, but I wondered how I would ever know where he was ultimately calling me.

The most crucial part of my journey was Eucharistic Adoration. During the last year or so of my journey, I began to spend significant time on a weekly basis with our Lord in Adoration and it became very clear to me that I was being called to religious life. Shortly after the call to religious life became clear, I made a visit to St. Vincent and I knew that this was the place where God was calling me.

The strong and structured prayer life combined with the apostolic ministries resonate very strongly with me. The size of the community and the diversity of the ministries were also a good fit. During my discernment journey, I was given advice by a vocation director that I met along the way that was very helpful. He said to look for a community where you feel comfortable and can minister well. In such a community:

- You can be yourself

- You feel that the other members are truly brothers with you.

- You will be challenged to grow

- You will have a strong prayer life

I found St. Vincent to be a great fit for me in all of these areas. As I learn more about the monastic life in general, and St. Vincent, in particular, I become ever more confident that God has called me to be a monk at St. Vincent Archabbey.